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Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Chen Kai Xuan
Hello to whoever is out there reading this. My life is dramatic so I hope this post gives you a sort of reading pleasure.
So here I am again. Just read my last post and guessed that my feelings has not changed for the said person and that person thought (or worse, still thinks) that it is a passing phase. One thing has changed though, I no longer yearn for acceptance from anyone. Just flitting about. Feels up the void.
-shrugs-
In my last post, I do not remember the circumstances but I mentioned that I missed Kaixuan and that surprised me. That is because I came back here to seek refuge because I miss him immensely. I really do not speak to him much because I do not know if I can ever reach his level of genius. I sent a message to him yesterday and told him that he was always in my thoughts and was missed. He thanked me. Also, he mentioned that he read my message again and realised that it was close to a 5-7-5 haiku. That made me happy. However, that was also the end of the conversation.
How do I convey to him how much his friendship means to me? I used to be someone he could hang out with. Now, I'm just an occasional text message. I do not even know why I miss him so much. So much that tears just keep flowing with the thought of him. I miss a lot of NPCO graduates but most of those who matter are still kept in contact. It is just him who is there on my Facebook messaging service but out of reach in real life.
It has been almost ten years since I have known him.
Why did I cease to exist for him?
Still hurting.
Ciao, pimples. Until next time.
-hangs her head down and walks away dejectedly-
#happinessiselusive
posted by Yang @ 10:41 PM
